XX - Adult Puns!

As the horror movie was about to reach its terrifying conclusion, the
young woman began fidgeting in her seat.
The man sitting behind her leaned forward and inquired quietly,
"Feeling hysterical?"
"No," she whispered, pointing to her boyfriend. "He's feeling mine."

Men who read woman like a book, prefer braille!

One day, mom was cleaning Junior's room, and in the closet she found a
bondage S&M magazine, some rope, leather gear, etc.
This was highly upsetting for her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.
She finally asked him,
"Well, what should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said,
"Well, I don't think you should spank him."

A new Life magazine survey shows that most men want to have sex on the
weekend, while most women want to spend their weekends getting some
sleep.
This actually means men and women can both get what they want on the
weekend as long as women are willing to wait three minutes.

My mom says my dad doesn't make enough dough, and he's so bad in bed
she uses a dill dough.

When one of the two first-grade teachers at the posh suburb's new
school left on her two-week honeymoon, the other volunteered to teach
both classes in her absence.
A few weeks later, at a housewarming party given by the newlyweds, the
guests were somewhat taken aback as the groom introduced them to his
wife's teaching colleague: "And this, ladies and gentlemen," announced
the grateful husband, "is the lovely lady who substituted for my wife
during our honeymoon."

Jill was talking to her hair stylist.
"It's silly," she said, "but my daughter has some sort of crazy idea
about losing her hair." "What do you mean?" the beautician asked.
"Well, I overheard her on the phone the other day telling her best
friend that she hoped she'd be 'balled' soon."

Two gay guys get in a fight in a bar.
They go outside to exchange blows.