XX - Adult Puns!

I hear people say,
"I have underwear older than that store clerk."
Honey, if your undies are 16+ years old, the problem is NOT the sales clerk.

Define "Pumpkin":
Sex with a relative.

One night at a club Little Red Riding Hood and the big bad wolf were
getting their groove on.
After hours of dancing and leading each other on, they went back to his place.
He asked her,
"Come on. Please just let me put it in."
Little Red Riding Hood replied,
"Just stick to the story, Wolf. Eat Me!"

Q. What do a blonde and a good beer have in common?
A. They both go down easy.

A woman never forgets the men she could have had;
A man, the women he couldn't.

The best engine in the world is the vagina.
It can be started with one finger.
It is self-lubricating. It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
"It is only a pity that the management system is so damn temperamental.

It took a long time for Lorena Bobbit to throw her husband's penis out
the window because she didn't have the balls.

Confucius said:
Baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard.

Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighbourhood.
"But he acts so stupid," said one to the other.
"I think he must have his brains between his legs."
"Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."