XX - Adult Puns!

A blonde I know gets a grand and glorious feeling whenever a man makes
love to her,
But, the grand always comes first.

Tarzan and Jane are traveling through the jungle, when they are
suddenly attacked by a troop of savage baboons.
As Tarzan fights some of the attackers off, Jane clings gingerly to a
thin tree branch, barely out of reach of the rest of the attacking
apes.
After Tarzan has vanquished the baboons confronting him, he turns just
in time to see Jane's tree branch begin to break.
Thinking quickly, Tarzan leaps for a vine and swings towards her.
As he nears, Tarzan yells,
"Grab the vine, Jane, grab the vine!"
She reaches out and makes a quick grab just as he swings by.
Tarzan screams,
"Aaiiieeeeeeeee! I said the vine dammit!"
From that day forth, Tarzan was the best-hung male in the jungle.

Florida gynecologists are spreaders of old wives' tails.

"My teacher is really giving me a tuff time" Little Johnny was telling
his father.
"Handle it this way Johnny," his father advised. "Take special care
with your personal appearance and attire. Pay attention in class. And
do your assignments and homework promptly."
"I really don't think that'll help Dad," Johnny sighed. "She hissed at
me during study break that she's 3 weeks overdue."

What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion?
At a hockey game you see fast pucks.