Stress Relievers.......

Stress Reliever # 1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom , when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom : Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am ?"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 5
A newly married man asked his wife,
"Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 6
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 7
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 9
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then, little Johnny spoke up:
"We are all human beans."
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 10
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you
married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 11
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 12
A husband was asked:
"Do you talk to your wife after sex?"
He replied:
"Depends, if I can find a phone."
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 13
Man to wife on wedding night:
"Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?"
Wife replied:
"Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!"
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 14
Question: "Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?"
Answer: "Because people started licking the wrong side."
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 15
A wife asked her husband:
"What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
"I like your sense of Humour."
_______________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 16
Doctor to his lady patient:
"You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are You having your meals three
times a day as I have advised?"
Lady replied:
"Doctor, I thought you said three males a day."

GO ON,
HAVE A STRESSLESS DAY!