Thoughts On Aging..............

- Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else
starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

- There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory.
I forget the other two.

- You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just
as long as you don't have to go along.

- Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

- Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to
every man. Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?

- You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office
start confiding in you.

- Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

- By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to
go anywhere.

- Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have
begun to grow in the middle.

- A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by
his doctor instead of by the police.

- You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the
only thing you care to exercise.
Reading of the Will.

The relatives of the family's rich dowager gathered for the reading of
her will after her long awaited death.
"Being of sound mind," read the lawyer, "I spent every last cent
before I died."
Flower Switch.

A new business was opening, and one of the owner's friends wanted to
send him flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site, and the owner read the card,
which said, "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was,
the florist replied,

"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry,
you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place,
and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new
location.'"