Football

The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football
and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at Man Utd with only 20 minutes left.
The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for
Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and
so is the media. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to
tell her about his first day in English football.

"Hello mum, guess what?" he says in an Iraqi accent. "I played for 20
minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves
me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got
shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, sexually
assaulted and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters and all
while you were having such great time."

The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved to
Liverpool in the first place!"