Tax returns

The IRS called in a man for an audit. So, he asked his accountant for
advice on what to wear.

"Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you
are a pauper," the accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite
advice: "Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an
expensive tie."

Confused, the man went to his minister, told him of the conflicting
advice, and asked him what he should do.

"Let me tell you a story," replied the minister. "A woman, about to be
married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. Her
mother said, 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up
to your neck and wool socks.' But when she asked her best friend, she
got conflicting advice: 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck
right down to your navel.' "

The man protested: "But Reverend, what does all this have to do with
my problem with the IRS?"

"It doesn't matter what you wear; you're going to get screwed anyway."