Jokes!

A old lady goes to the doctor and says,
"Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me
too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact
I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You
didn't know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent".
The doctor says.
"I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back.
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now
my farts, although still silent, they do stink terribly."
"Good", the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses,
let's work on your hearing".

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the
psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you
should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the
Heavens and the Earth..."

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through
Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least
one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is
black!"

Perhaps, you've heard of the man who thought he was dead? In reality
he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his
family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the
man he was still alive.
Nothing seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical
books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don't bleed.
After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead
men don't bleed.
"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, I do," the patient replied.
"Very well, then," the doctor said.
He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle
of blood.
The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"
"Oh my goodness!" the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at
his finger ... "Dead men do bleed!!"