AH WELL - THE IRISH !!!!

IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY:

Artery......................... The study of paintings

Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria

Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die

Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section......... A neighborhood in Rome

Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty

Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her

Colic............................. A sheep dog

Coma........................... A punctuation mark

Dilate............................To live long

Enema.......................... Not a friend

Fester........................... Quicker than someone else

Fibula............................ A small lie

Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain.................... Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff................... A Doctor's cane

Morbid.......................... A higher offer

Nitrates......................... Cheaper than day rates

Node..............................I knew it

Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted

Pelvis............................. Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative................ A letter carrier

Recovery Room............... Place to do upholstery

Rectum.......................... Nearly killed him

Secretion....................... Hiding something

Seizure.......................... Roman emperor

Tablet........................... A small table

Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport

Tumour........................ One plus one more

Urine............................ Opposite of you're out