Some Definitions

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
fool on the other.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe,you know more than you actually do.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test..

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree
and a woman gains her master's.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feelingyou
have never felt before.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage ..

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power .

Compromise: The ar t of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
beleives he got the biggest piece

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present...

Opportunists: One who starts having a bath when he/she accidently
falls in a river ...

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either".

College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway
"See I am not injured yet"

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.