Tuesday, May 08, 2007

ENGLISH

These are extracts from actual letters sent to Leicester Council
and Housing Association written by the tenants in UK :
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1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
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2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when
he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
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> 3. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
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4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside
toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew
them off.
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5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the
wall.
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6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?
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7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of
the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
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8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
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9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny
color and not fit to drink.
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10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every
morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much
for me.
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12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
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13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would
like a third so please send someone around to do something about it.
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14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top
of me every night.
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15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
satisfy my wife.
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