AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water
down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove
itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else
to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
using the sink.

4. To treat high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and
does, use the duct tape.

8. When confused remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

--- Confucius***