jokes.

A couple returned from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone
that they are not talking to each other.
The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong.
"Well," replied the man, "When we had finished making love on the
first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill on the
pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm
sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to
have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said:
"I don't know if I can get over this though. She gave me $20 change!"

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.
The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing
physically wrong with him, and then told him,
"Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to
stop taking your trouble to bed with you."
"I know," said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."

The Italian man said:
"Last week, my wife and I made great amour. I rubbed her body all over
with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for five
full minutes at the end."
The Frenchman boasted:
"Last week when my wife and made amour, I rubbed her body all over
with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen
minutes."
The Jewish man said:
"Well, last week my wife and I also did the do. I rubbed her body all
over with schmaltz (chicken fat). We made love, and she screamed for
over six hours."
The other two were stunned.
The amazed Frenchman asked:
"What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?"
The Jewish man said:
"I wiped my hands on the bedspread."

One reason the Military Services have trouble operating jointly is
that they don't speak the same language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building,"
they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with
suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand,
would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.