XX - ADULT PUNS!

Cathy and I went to the Mardi Gras festivals to New Orleans for our
35th Anniversary. They had a nice room in a hotel just outside of
Bourbon Street.
I couldn't sleep and decided to take a walk at 1 AM the first night there.
As I was cruising down Bourbon Street, I saw a skimpily dressed woman
on a balcony above me.
"Would you like to sleep with me for $100," she called down to me.
I told her,
"Making love at my age is always a real effort. But I could sure use the money."

"I think we should go Dutch," the nurse said to the doctor in the
dimly lit restaurant.
"You pay for dinner and the movie, and the rest of your night can be on me."

The fastest way to get a nun pregnant is to dress her up as an altar boy.

Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he
sent his wife Mary to Home Depot.
At Home Depot, while she was waiting for the manager to finish talking
to a customer, Mary saw a beautiful bathroom faucet.
When the manager was finished, Mary asked.
"How much for that faucet?"
Manager replied,
"that's gold plated and it costs $500.00 which one it was I'm not sure."
"My goodness that sure is a lot," Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to
buy and the manager went to the back room to find it.
From the back room manager yelled,
"Ma'am, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary paused and then shouted back,
"No, but I will for the faucet."
This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot.

When we found out our wives were attending a sex-toy party,
We refused to go and pick them up. Instead we decided to leave them to
their own devices.

Orgy:
Grope therapy.

A small town doctor helps a young woman deliver her first baby.
About the same time the next year she comes back to deliver her second baby.
Next year, same thing.
Many years pass each time with a visit from the woman to deliver a baby.
Finally, after helping her deliver her 10th child, the doctor says,
"Well, I guess I'll see you next year."
The woman replies
"No you won't, I finally figured out what's causing this!"