Innocent Questions

1) NUDITY.
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a
seat belt!"
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2) OPINIONS.
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother.
The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."
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3) KETCHUP.
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk
to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
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4) MORE NUDITY.
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the
matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
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5) POLICE # 1.
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I
was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and
down at my uniform,
She asked, "Are you a cop?" Yes," I answered and continued writing
the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
police. Is that right? "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well,
then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please
tie my shoe?"
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6) POLICE # 2.
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment,
My K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in
at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I
replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of
the van. Finally he said," What'd he do?"
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7) ELDERLY.
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of
old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a
glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,
she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe
this!"
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8) DRESS-UP.
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she
saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't
wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a
headache the next morning."
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9) DEATH.
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a
small box and cotton batting , then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of
what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the
Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."
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10) SCHOOL.
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother .. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"
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11) BIBLE.
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object
and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed
in between the pages "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
; ; "What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think
it's Adam's underwear. "
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