Funny!!!

Has the bus come yet?
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks,
"Has the bus come yet?".
If the bus came would I be standing here?
~ Billy Connoly

Compatible: Your money fits in the salesperson's wallet.
~Rod Carty

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
~J. Paul Getty

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
~Gracie Allen

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity. But not in that order.

Perfect office computer
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer.
If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
~Milton Berle

Making the last car payment
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills . . .
Making the last ca r payment.

It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
~Laurence J Peter

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like ev eryone else.

Louder horn
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A domestic animal.
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and
kindness, can be trained to do most things.