XX Naughty Quickies ...

- In life never look down on anybody unless
You are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!

- Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity
Don't screw the opportunity!

- Define contraceptive pill.
   It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to
avoid pregnancy.

-  A Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband:
So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
   New husband:
 Not bad. After the first 3 inches she was brand new.

-  What is the similarity between doing sex & doing surgery?
   Skill is more important than the instrument...

-  The saddest part of a man's body is his balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them
To Hang Till Death !

-  A football team loses their star player Roger Dicks due to an injury.
   Next day, a headline reads:
Team to play without Dicks.
   The manager calls up the newspaper and objects.
So, the editor changes the headline.
   It reads:
Team to play with Dicks out.

-  What is the definition of a Lesbian?
   Yet another damm Woman trying to do a Man's job!!

-  On a NUDE beach a man shakes hand with a lady & says:
Pleased to meet you!
   Lady:
Yeah, I can SEE that.

-  Today's generation:
Six year old boy to a four year old boy:
Dude, I found a condom in the balcony.
    Four year old boy:
What's a balcony ?

-  What advice does the doctor give to sick prostitutes?
    Stay out of BED for two days.

-  Three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their
hands shook.
    The first geezer said
"My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my  face!"
    The second old fogey one-upped him.
"My hands shake so bad that when I trimmed my garden yesterday I
sliced all my flowers!"
   The third old man laughed and said,
"That's nothing.
My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterdayI came three times."

-  A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy   leaping out of the window..
Wife yells:
That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband:
Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife:
Because I thought it was you until he started the second time.

Prostitute:
Hi want to have sex?
Sam:
Ok. Only if you do it like my wife does.
Prostitute:
I can do it in any way. So, how does she do it?
Sam:
She does it for free.