THOUGHTS MARRIED LIFE...

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.
As soon as I got a wife,
I lost my balance at the bank.

* Men want THREE qualities in their wives:
Economist in kitchen,
Artist in home
&
Devil in bed.
But they get
Artist in kitchen,
Devil in home
&
Economist in bed.

Question:
Why do women live longer than men?
Answer:
Shopping never causes heart attacks,
But paying the bill does!

Before marriage:
Roses are red,
Sky is blue.
You are beautiful,
&
I love you.

After marriage:
Roses are dead,
I'm blue.
You are my headache,
&
One day, I'll kill you.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want,
Then when you see what the other person has,
You wish you had ordered that.

Man:
Is there any way for long life?
Dr:
Get married.
Man:
Will it help?
Dr:
No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Question:
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
Answer:
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Wife:
Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband:
Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.