XX - Adult Puns!

The rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an
apparent heart attack the gentleman had.
When the squad got there it was too late, the man had died.
While consoling the wife one of the rescuers noticed that the bed was a mess.
He asked the lady what symptoms the man had suffered and if anything
had precipitated the heart attack.
The lady replied,
'Well, we were in the bed making love and he started moaning and
groaning and thrashing around the bed, panting and sweating. I thought
he was coming, but I guess he was going.'

A company ran an add stating that they would make you a pilot for $2,900.
They want to train more people to fly planes in hopes that they could
sell more planes. Their advt had a beautiful picture of an airplane
and in big black print were the words, "We will make you a pilot for
$2,900.
I heard that the advt elicited a lot of response, but the most unique
response came from 7 women in Kansas.
They wrote into the company and said;
"We understand you can make us a pilot for $2,900. We would like you
to make us one right away. We want him to be a man, 6 feet tall, 190
pounds, with blue eyes and brown wavy hair. We understand that you
guarantee that you can make us a pilot. Therefore, we would like the
pilot on approval for about 60 days. If he works out we'll order
more."

What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?
They were originally intended for children,
But it's the men who play with them the most.

A sorority girl wears a gold diaphragm so her boyfriend will think he
is coming into money.

Dr. Jones completed his examination of the teenage girl and took her
mother aside.
"I'm afraid," he said, "that your daughter has syphilis."
"Oh, my!" exclaimed the embarrassed woman. "Tell me, could she
possibly have caught it in a public lavatory?"
After giving it a little thought, Dr. Jones responded,
"It's possible, but it would certainly have been uncomfortable."

My neighbour majored in both Geology and Proctology.
And, he still doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken.
The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after
finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the
excess blood.
She can't find one so she looks innocently at the guy, takes his
finger and sucks it.
The guy is so pleased he asks,
"Do you think I could have a urine test done?"