The Law of Parenthood

- A child's behaviour will improve in proportion to the distance she
is away from the parent.

- Two is equal to two, except when referring to time.
Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

- The choice of a pre-schooler's best friend corresponds directly to
the distance the friend lives from your house.

- A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely
proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.

- The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly
proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

- A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year
unless it is the only food in the fridge.

- The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word
increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.