Observations on Growing Older

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them
...but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.
Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"...
They add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price.
Now you get discounts on everything...
Movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

~You forget names ... But it's OK
Because other people forgot
They even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose
Is now 15 and you have a better chance
Of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you're never going
To be really good at anything .... Especially golf.

~Your spouse is counting on you
To remember things you don't remember.

~The things you used to care to do,
You no longer care to do,
But you really do care that you
Don't care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair
With the TV blaring than he does in bed.
It's called his "pre-sleep".

~Remember when your mother said,
"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?
Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

~You used to say,
"I hope my kids GET married...
Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked
With just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ...
Were unheard of, and a mouse was something
That made you climb on a table.

~You used to use more 4 letter words ...
"what?"..."when?"...  ???

~Now that you can afford
Expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~Your husband has a night out with the guys,
But he's home by 9:00 P.M.  Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired ...You'd give anything if he'd find a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ...2 of which you will never wear.