A Diplomat is a person who:

  -always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats.

-can always make himself misunderstood.

-can convince his wife not to hide her nice body under a floor-length sable.

-can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.

-can keep his shirt on while getting something off his chest.

-can look happy when he has unexpected dinner guests.

-can make his wife believe she will look fat in a mink coat.

-can make nothing sound like something.

-can put his best foot forward when he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

-can put his foot down without stepping on someone's toes.

-can say the nastiest things in the nicest way.

-can tell a man he's open-minded when he means he has a hole in his head.

-can tell you to go to hell so tactfully that you look forward to the trip.

-comes right out and says what he thinks when he agrees with you.

-divides his time between running for office and running for cover.

-has a straightforward way of dodging issues.

-lets you do all the talking while he gets what he wants.

-puts his cards on the table, but still has some up each sleeve.

-straddles an issue whenever he isn't dodging one.

-will approach every question with an open mouth.

-will lay down your life for his country.

-will refuse to answer any question on the ground it might eliminate him.