Saturday, April 09, 2011

Differences Between Men and Women

Men have flu,
Women have colds.


Men drive to a party,
Women drive back.


Heterosexual women are not frightened by lesbians,
Whereas
Heterosexual men are terrified of homosexuals --
Once they are pointed out to them, by women.


Even though we can now explain differences between men and women's
social conducts genetically several facts remain puzzling and
distinguished professors in the field think answer may be a few
centuries away
Yet...for instance, can you explain why:


Men are biologically incapable of letting a women light a barbecue.


Women do not replace tops on jars and tubes.
Men put them on so tightly that they cannot be removed at all.


Single-tasking men do one thing well at a time:
(e.g. Drink a cup of coffee.)
In the same time a multitasking women can
Make breakfast,
Make the children's sandwiches,
Organize the window cleaner,
Phone the office,
Dress the children,
Write shopping list, iron a shirt
&
DE-flea the cat.
Women have not yet realized this is an evolutionary disadvantage.


Men warm their posteriors at the fire,
Women do not.
Women's posteriors enable them to sit comfortably on the floor,
men's do not.


A man who regularly visits his mother is a mommy's boy.
A women who does the same is a good daughter.


A man who has no difficulty in undressing
An adult women will nevertheless prove incapable of fitting a small
child into a nightgown.


A woman believes that visitors will be impressed by a clean house.
A man believes that the visitors will be impressed with his large
stereo system.


Exactly the same haircut will cost $30 more for a woman than it will for a man.