Why I Don't Attend High School Reunions

Jan, Sue and Lois haven't seen each other since High School.  They
rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for
lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot
Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the
required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine. Then Lois
walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots.  She
too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from
Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has
a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's
leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue ,
whereSusanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second
home in Phoenix .

Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a
surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment
banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home
in Naples, Florida .
pal

Lois explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her
boyfriend, Gene. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow
their own vegetables. Gene can stand five parrots, side by side, on
his dick.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan
blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live
in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a
nearby storage facility.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains
that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They
live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Lois admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.