Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Adult Puns!

The Second Coming has nothing to do with multiple orgasms.

The attractive Yuppette, admired by all the husbands at the club, was
talking to one of the wives over drinks.
"I've developed an immunity to being used by men as a sex object."
The wife grinned and replied,
"That's not surprising darling, considering the number of times you've
been inoculated."

When you're at the grocery store and you can't find the Planter's,
it's better not to phrase your inquiry to the stock boy,
"Where do you keep your nuts?"

The naïve young woman was seated in her doctor's office.
"Our tests indicate that you are pregnant," said the physician, "and
there is every indication that you are going to have twins."
"But how can that be, doctor?" the girl protested. "I've never been
out on a double-date in my life!"

Pinocchio is all grown up, and has moved out.
One day, he meets Gepetto in a bar, and starts confiding in him.
"Whenever I'm having sex with a girl, she complains about splinters,"
Pinocchio says. Gepetto looks all wise, and tells him that whenever he
feels 'lucky', he should rub sandpaper on his penis.
Happy, Pinocchio says he'll try it.
A few weeks later, Gepetto spots Pinocchio walking down the street.
He stops him, and asks how its going with the girls,
To which Pinocchio replies,
"Hey, who needs girls?"

Drivers' education classes in redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays because on Tuesday and Thursday, the
Sex Ed class uses it.