XX ADULT PUNS!

There once was a woman, Monique,
Who proclaimed an efficient technique:
"One f*ck daily's just right."
She did seven one night,
And then found that it made her hole weak.


The varsity girls track team coach just couldn't seem to win a meet.
Six losses in a row.
He decided it would be best if he put his girls on anabolic steroids.
Soon his girls were performing like stars.
They went undefeated for the rest of the year.
They won State and were on their way to the Nationals.
On the bus trip, Sally, the star sprinter struck a conversation with the
coach.
Sally:
"Coach I have a problem!"
Coach:
"What's that, Sally?"
Sally:
"I'm developing thick hair on my body!"
Coach:
What part of your body?"
Sally:
"My chest, coach."
Coach:
"How far does the hair go down, Sally?"
Sally:
"Well coach, it goes clear down to my balls, which is another thing I wanted
to speak with you about."

Confucius Say:
Woman who gives away free potato chips,
Will offer you a free Lay.

The dove is the bird of peace,
But
The swallow is the bird of true love.

Judy went to her gynaecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of
her.
"To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a
very long and delicate operation."
"I don't think I can afford that," said Judy. "Could you just replace the
batteries?"

Schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week,
Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who
send text messages and e-mails have long forgotten the art of
capitalization.
For those of you who fall into this category,
Please take note of the following statement --
"Capitalization is the difference between
Helping your Uncle Jack off a horse
And
Helping your uncle jack off a horse."
Is everybody clear one that?

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to
stick it out for one more year!