Various Stages of Life - Male & Female

THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE.

AGE - DRINK.

17 - beer
25 - vodka
35 - bourbon
48 - double bourbon
66 - Maalox

AGE SEDUCTION LINE.

17 - My parents are away for the weekend.
25 - My girlfriend is away for the weekend
35 - My fiance is away for the weekend.
48 - My wife is away for the weekend.
66 - My second wife is dead.

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE.

17 - tongue.
25 - breakfast.
35 - She didn't set back my therapy.
48 - I didn't have to meet her kids.
66 - Got home alive.

AGE FAVORITE FANTASY.

17 - getting to third.
25 - airplane s*x.
35 - menage a trios.
48 - taking the company public.
66 - firm bowel movement.

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17 - 25
25 - 35
35 - 48
48 - 66
66 - 17

AGE IDEAL DATE.

17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in.
25 Split the check before we go back to my place.
35 Just come over.
48 Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
66 Just come over and cook.

THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE.

AGE DRINK.

17 - Wine Coolers
25 - White wine
35 - Red wine
48 - Dom Perignon
66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

AGE EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES.
17 - Need to wash my hair.
25 - Need to wash and condition my hair.
35 - Need to colour my hair.
48 - Need to have Francois colour my hair.
66 - Need to have Francois colour my wig.

AGE FAVOURITE SPORT.

17 - shopping.
25 - shopping.
35 - shopping.
48 - shopping.
66 - shopping.

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE.

17 - Burger King.
25 - Free meal.
35 - A diamond.
48 - A bigger diamond.
66 - Home Alone.

AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY.

17 - tall, dark and handsome.
25 - tall, dark and handsome with money.
35 - tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain.
48 - a man with hair.
66 - a man.

AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 - 17
25 - 25
35 - 35
48 - 48
66 - 66

AGE IDEAL DATE.

17 - He offers to pay.
25 - He pays.
35 - He cooks breakfast the next morning.
48 - He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids.
66 - He can chew breakfast.