Daily Dirty

New findings in Jerusalem.

A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a
slab of rock with five figures carved on it.
In order the figures were:
1) A Woman
2) A Donkey
3) A Shovel
4) A Fish
5) A Star of David.

After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the leader took
the rock and went on a lecture tour.
He said the carvings were several thousands of years old, but even so
they revealed a lot about the people of that time.

1. The woman being placed first in the line of figures indicated that
women were held in very high esteem.
It was most likely a family oriented culture.

2. The donkey indicated they had domesticated animals.
They probably used the donkey to till the fields.

3. The shovel shows they were highly intelligent as they knew how to
Make tools.

4. The fish shows they knew how to augment the crops they raised
By also reaping from the sea.

5. The Star of David of course indicates they were a very religious
Group of people.

A little old man in the front row finally got the attention of the speaker.

When acknowledged, he said...

"I'm sorry to blow your conclusions, but you were reading it left to right.
In Hebrew we read from right to left.
That way it reads.........

'Holy mackerel, dig the ass on that woman!'"

A Cut Here, A Cut There...

Two little kids were in a hospital laying next to each other.
The first kid leaned over and asked,
"What are you in here for?"

The second kid said,
"I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid said,
"You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once.
They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of
Jell-O and ice cream.
It's a piece of cake!"

The second kid then asked,

"What are you in here for?"

The first kid responded,

"Well, I'm here for a circumcision."

The second kid said,
"Whoa! I had that done when I was born.
I couldn't walk for a year!"