Blonde Jokes ...again but good
Blonde Interrogation!
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows them a
picture, then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers:
"That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says:
"Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture
for 5 seconds
At the second blonde and asks her:
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says:
"Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds:
"What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear
are showing because it's a picture of his profile! Is that the best
answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third
blonde and in a very testy voice asks:
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
He quickly adds:
"Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says:
"The suspect wears contact lenses!"
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't
know himself
If the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while
I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file
in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear
contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied.
"He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
__._,_.___
"Glossary of Blonde Medicine."
Artery............................Study of paintings.
Bacteria.........................Back door of a cafeteria.
Barium...........................What doctors do when a patient dies.
Bowel............................A letter like A,E,I,O,U.
Caesarian Section.........A district in Rome.
Cataract.........................Weird pontoon boat.
Cat Scan........................Searching for a Kitty.
Cauterise.......................Made eye contact with her.
Colic...............................A sheep dog.
Coma..............................A punctuation mark.
Congenital......................Friendly.
D & C .............................Where Washington is.
Dilate..............................To live long.
Enema............................Not a Friend.
Fester.............................Quicker.
Fibula..............................Small Lie.
Genital.............................Non-Jewish.
G.I. Series........................Soldier Ball Game.
Hangnail......................... To Hang Pictures on.
Impotent.......................... Distinguished; well known.
Labour Pain.......................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff....................Doctor's Cane.
Morbid........................... Higher Offer.
Nitrate.............................Different then Day Rate.
Node.............................. Was aware of.
Outpatient...................... Person who has fainted.
Pap smear.......................Fatherhood Test.
Pelvis...... .......................Cousin of Elvis.
Postoperative..................Letter Carrier.
Prostrate..........................Flat on your back.
Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum........................... Damn near killed him.
Secretion........................ Hiding something.
Seizure.......................... Roman Emperor.
Tablet............................ Small table.
Terminal Illness............ Getting sick at the Airport.
Tibia............................ Country in North Africa.
Tumour......................... Add a couple more.
Urine......................... Opposite of "You're Out."
Varicose................... Near by.
Vein...................... Conceited.
Love L.A...We Love It!
A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for
the coach section.
She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats.
Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more
comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one.
The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her
seat is in coach.
The blonde replies,
"I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit
And informs the captain of the blonde problem.
The Captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.
Again, the blonde replies,
"I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the
cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot.
The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can
take care of the problem.
He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.
She immediately gets up, says,
"Thank you so much,"
Hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section.
The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention,
together ask the
co-pilot what he had said to the woman.
He replies,
"I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."
