DO BLONDES UNDERSTAND AMERICAN LINGO?

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is in $100 bills. Then, there's a knock at the door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to The nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. The Klansmen walk off. As they're walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies! One blonde genie says to the other one, "Hey, I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire, but why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!" Fishing This blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of Cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the Ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?" The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!" Insurance slogans Four insurance companies are in competition. One comes up with the slogan, "Coverage from the cradle to the grave." The second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the womb to the tomb." Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the sperm to the Worm." The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with, "From the erection to the resurrection."