XXX - Naughty Humour!

What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
Both, are sweet and tight in the beginning, but become tasteless and
shapeless later.

Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service,
And sometimes you have to be satisfied with "self-service."

One night a boy asked his girlfriend:
"Darling are you free tonight"
His girlfriend shouted and replied:
"Have I ever charged you before?"

Patient:
My 5 year old son is very naughty. He has made my maid pregnant.
Doctor:
How the hell is that possible?
Patient:
He took a pin and punched holes in all my condoms.

A banker, confused with maths, asked his secretary:
If I give you $3 million less 17%, how much would you take-off?
Sec: Everything, sir !!!

Love is not measured by:
HUGGING,
KISSING &
SEX.
It is all about:
Trusting,
Respecting &
Accepting a person...
With:
OPEN LEGS,
CLOSED EYES,
WET LIPS saying
GIMME MORE!!!

Johnny asks grandpa:
"Do you still have sex with grandma?"
Grandpa says:
"Yes, but only oral."
Johnny:
"What's oral?"
Grandpa:
"I say f*** you, she says f*** you too."

A kid asked the priest:
"Father, what is your pastime?"
The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied:
"Nun, my child, nun."

Man at medical shops wants viagra.
Says:
"Give extra dose, 3 girls are coming."
Next day he wants 'iodex.'
Chemist asks:
"Why, what happened?"
Man
"The girls didn't come."