Humour!

Feeding the Baby.

A first-time father was taking a turn at feeding the baby some
strained peas. Naturally, there were traces of the food everywhere,
especially on the infant.

His wife comes in, looks at the infant, then at her husband staring
into space, then says, "What in the world are you doing?"

He replied, "I'm waiting for the first coat to dry, so I can put on another."
Ever Go Fishing?

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars
all traveling at the same speed; however, as they passed a speed trap,
he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was
about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was
speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other
cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the
ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked.

"Uhhh, yeah..." the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch ALL the fish?"
Dog friends.

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue.
Devotion.

Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his
wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night
at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said.

"What an example of devotion," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be
that concerned about me?"

"Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know
where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front
door."

Entertainment Joke.

By the time the soldier pulled into the little town, every hotel room
was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere", he pleaded with a
proprietor. "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, but he
is an Air Force guy" admitted the manager, and he might be glad to
split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that
people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure
it'd be worth it to you.
" No problem." the tired Army guy assured him, "I'll take it."

The next morning the soldier came down to breakfasts bright-eyed and
bushy tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better",
said the soldier. The manager was impressed. "No problem with the
other guy snoring all night long?" "No, I shut him up in no time",
explained the soldier.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the proprietor.
"Well, he was already in bed, snoring away, when I walked into the
room, so I gave him a kiss on the cheek" explained the soldier. "Then,
I whispered in his ear, 'Good night beautiful', and he sat up all
night watching me."