Humour on Wednesday!

Three times ???

An old Jewish couple was sitting around one evening and he says to his
wife, "Sarah, we are about to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary,
so tell me, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
She hesitated a while and said, "Yes, 3 times."
"Three times!? How did it happen?" he asks.
"Well, do you remember right after we were married and we were broke
and the bank was going to foreclose on our little house?" "Yes, that
was really a terrible time."
"Okay, well do you remember when I went to see the banker and the next
day he extended our loan? "It is hard to believe," he said, "but I
guess it really was for us and I can forgive you."
She continued, "And do you remember years later when you almost died
from the heart problem because we couldn't afford the operation?"
"Of course I remember."
"Well, then you also remember that right after I went to see the
doctor he did your operation at no cost?"
"Yes," he said, "that shocks me too but I understand you did it
because of your love for me and I forgive you.
But, tell me, what was the third time?"
She responded, "Do you remember when you ran for Temple president...
And needed 34 more votes?"
Recent Quips from Late Night.......

"Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, a married, very anti-gay conservative
Republican, was arrested by a plainclothes police officer for lewd
conduct in a Minneapolis airport men's room. Today the senator's
office said it was all a big misunderstanding. Apparently what
happened was when the senator went in to use the restroom, he
accidentally grabbed the wrong penis." --Jay Leno

"There's another scandal in Washington. One of the senator's from
Idaho, Larry Craig, was arrested in airport men's room. Gives new
meaning to the word 'caucusing.'" --David Letterman

"The police report says he tapped his foot, which means 'I want gay
sex.' And, also means I'll never wear my iPod to the bathroom again."
--Jimmy Kimmel

"Needless to say, Senator Craig is also anti-gay marriage and gays in
the military, which I think, shows he doesn't let his personal needs
interfere with his work." --Jimmy Kimmel, on Larry Craig's bathroom
incident

"You know who I feel sorry for in this whole thing? The undercover
cop. How'd you like to have that job. Sit in an airport bathroom all
day, your pants around your ankles with a coffee and a donut waiting
for guys to hit on you." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, after months of scandals and political pressure,
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced he's going to resign.
Gonzales said, 'There comes a time when a man should resign, and that
time for me was last January.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Russian leader Vladimir Putin -- have you seen this guy? He gets his
picture taken a lot with his shirt off. We used to have a pantless
president, they've got a shirtless president. He was named 'Sexiest
Commie Alive' ... Nearly edging out Hugo Chavez and Kim Jong-Il. ...
But people are stunned the Russian president appearing in public
without a shirt. And I was thinking, 'Well heck, our president often
appears in public without a brain'" --David Letterman