You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...........

- the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

- people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two
fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

- when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering," five guys and two women stand up.

- a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive
truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

- the choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

- in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven different
last names in the church directory.

- people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

- instead of a bell; you are called to service by a duck call.

- the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink."

- "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

- the final words of the benediction are:
"Y'all come back now, ya heah."

- God Bless and don't Y'all fergit ta say yer prayers!!!