Reasons not to mess with a child

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher
about whales. The teacher said it was physically
impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
even though it was a very large mammal its throat
was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was
swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale
could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, Then you ask him".

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl
who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

3. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly
noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair
sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,

"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy,
one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,

"Momma, how come ALL of grandma s hairs are white?"

4. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was
trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how

nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out,

"And there's the teacher, She s dead."

5. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on
my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face.." "Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in

the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

6. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large
pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chipcookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.