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* Behind every successful man,
-
there is a great woman
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and
-
behind every great woman,
-
there is a smart guy staring at her butt.
* If you don't believe in oral sex,
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keep your mouth shut!
* Opinion is like an ass hole,
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everyone has one.
* A Mistress lies between
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a Mister and a mattress.
* Chess players mate better.
* Excuses are like asses:
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everyone has 'em and they all stink.
* If I could re-arrange the alphabet,
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I'd put you between F and C K.
* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.
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Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
* Impotence:
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Nature's way of saying
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"No hard feelings".
* If you think sex is a pain in the ass,
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you're doing it wrong.
* There are only two four letter words
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that are offensive to men -
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don't and stop,
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unless they are used together.
* The difference between a husband and a lover
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is
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the difference between day and night.
* I love you in blue.
-
I love you in red
-
but,
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most of all.
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I love you in bed.
* Prostitution is a hole sale business.
* A tight dress is like a barbed fence.
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It protects the premises without restricting the view.
* It is good for woman to meet man in park,
-
but,
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better for man to park meat in woman.
* What matters is not the length of the wand,
-
but,
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the magic in the stick.
* Sex is like snow;
-
you never know
-
how many inches you are going to get
-
or
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how long it is going to last.
* Good sex can correct poor posture,
-
or
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at least make it stand up straight.
* I'm not attracted by a girl's mind ...
-
but,
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by what she doesn't mind.
* Guns, don't kill people.......
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Husbands,
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who come home early,
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kill people.
* Gettin' married
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is
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like getting into a bath tub.
-
After you get used to it,
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it ain't so hot.
* Marriage is the only war
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where
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you get to sleep with the enemy!
