What are you

Take this with a smile as some are true and interchangeable to the various races that live in or need live in harmony in Sri Lanka -
.....................

You are Sinhalese?
You don't think very far,
You love Kavun,
You squeal on your friends for promotions,
You get very thirsty everyday after work,
There's no such thing as a free lunch for you,
You have a great temper,
You don't shave your armpits,
You love to swear using other peoples Mums interlinked with Intercourse.
You are Tamil?
You don't go for movies, but you'd rather see it on the showroom window TV
You buy two Murungas and think you are eating well,
You have hair on your ears,
You love to do things secretly,
You always answer a question with another question,
Your women wear rings on their noses, and jasmines in their hair
You must live in a hostel at Wellawatte.
You are Moor?
Your waistline is equal to or more than your hips,
You must have a relative named Marikar,
Even though you are married only once you still have three more on your mind,
You love to eat in groups of six,
You believe, sincerely, that the difference between Selling Price & Cost Price must always be more than three times the Cost price,
Your neighbours wife is always attractive,
Your in-laws are not your best friends,
You are a firm believer that there is more than one way to skin a cat.
You are Burgher?
You look great on the outside but there's nothing really much inside you,
You live in a small cottage like house that's neat and tidily kept,
You like wine, women , song and boys too,
Your hair is greasy all the time,
Your pants stick to your body like a leech,
If you were allowed to take a guitar to school you would,
Your gals have great legs and never learned to say NO.
You are Chetty?
Money is the root of all happiness,
You have a knack to give away money and make more of it in the process,
You start your day with Gal,
You eat lunch with Gal,
You end your day with Gal,
You must live in Kotahena,
You never miss a Novena,
Your family name must end with Pulle.
You are Memon?
You are always spitting blood everywhere you go,
Your women are hairy,
You wear oversized baggy pantaloons that swing in the wind,
You must have a shop in the Pettah,
Your tummy is no different to the Moor fellows,
Trust doesn't come easy when its business,
You relish biriyani and sweets.
You are Sindhi?
You are a wizard at Rummy,
Your home isn't complete without the 'juice' cabinet,
Your women are also hairy,
You love numerology, astrology and Sai Baba,
You are a member of Otters,
Playing cards, fast cars, and biznez are the main ingredients of life,
Your name must end with an "ANI".
You are a Parsi?
Another hairy bunch,
You don't think very far like the Sinhalese,
You keep Vultures for pets,
You can easily pass of as a Burgher,
Your name must end with a "JEE".