XX Fun stuff

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to
religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.

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The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I
did.......
she's 21 and her name's Lucy.


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The thing I love most about hot weather is the short skirts and low cut
tops.... although, they do make me look a bit gay.

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Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a
spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."

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My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give
him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year. You'd better stop
before you're banned from teaching altogether."

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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.


Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an
hour, as I started to feel sick.It's great though. It does everything -
KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.."

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The queen says she doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at her Jubilee
celebrations.
Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss; he's still going.
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The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me
because she can't afford batteries.

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Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing
line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 clothes
pegs back.