XX ADULT PUNS!

A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum
A kiss isn't a kiss without some tongue
So open your mouth
Close your eyes and
Give your tongue some exercise!

She was only an apple-grower's daughter,
She couldn't wait to get it in cider.

An alligator went to the doctor for a physical.
He told the doctor that he used to be able to swim downstream under water
for ten miles and eat everything he saw.
"Now," he mused, "I don't care about eating. All I want to do is sit on the
beach and watch the food float by."
The doctor looked him over thoroughly and said,
"Here's two pills for you."
"What are they like?" the alligator asked.
"Hmmm. Well let's say they are a lot like Viagra," extolled the doc.
"Cripes, Doc! I don't need anything like that! What are they really for?"
Looking him over the Doc responded,
"Well, they're for 'Reptile Dysfunction'"

What should you do if an elephant comes in your window?
Learn to swim.

"So after a few minutes of pretty heavy making out, I asked, 'Are you ready
for some oral sex now?'"
"Oh, I'll bet he jumped at that chance."
"Yeah, but he nearly jumped out of his skin when I said, 'Good! Go home and
call me.'"

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is
That it's the only time he hears someone tell him,
"Wow, that's a big one!"