ADULT PUNS!

The Federal Witness Protection Program has come up with a sure-fire method
for making absolutely certain that people entering the program are NEVER
found by anyone.
They just change the witness's name to G. Spot.

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar
and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on
his face.
The best man says,
"Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up you look
so excited."
The groom replies,
"I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am
marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest,
brightest smile on her face.
The maid of honour notices this and says,
"Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up,
you look so excited."
The bride replies,
"I have just given the last blow job of my entire life. "

Ant hole:
Where an uncle likes to come.

Mary and Sue were always trying to get the other's goat and today they were
meeting for lunch.
Mary noticed that Sue was walking bowlegged and asked what the problem was.
Sue replied,
"Oh nothing. It's just that my husband is so big, I just can't take it."
Mary replied,
"I know. I know."

You don't want Monica Lewinsky and Tonto in your car at the same time.
You might wind up with a blown Injun.

A knockout blonde with a fine set of knockers complains to the doctor,
"I believe I am losing my mind. I can't remember ANYTHING over five
minutes!"
The doctor answers, in his most comforting tone,
"Just take off all your clothes, miss, and lie down."

Kay goes to the optometrist.
The Doctor tells her,
"You've got to stop masturbating!"
"Why Doc," she asked, "am I going blind?"
"No," the Doctor explained, "but you're upsetting the other patients in the
waiting room!"

Why should you always travel with a six-pack in the winter?
In case you have to leave a message in the snow!

Back in the 60's, Lederle (proneounced: led-RR-lee) Laboratories, a leading
drug company, would have the same prefix for many of their trademarked
drugs.
They were all prefixed with Leder:
Ledercillian, Ledermycin, Lederject, Ledercort, Lederfolin, Ledertrexate and
so on.
They even came up with a birth control drug,
Called it Lederalone.