XXX ADULT PUNS!

When a corpulent spinster named Snow
Was approached by a dwarf for a blow
She replied, "I have pride!
Your request is denied
I could never, Sir, stoop quite that low."

It takes 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg
Because
They won't stop to ask directions.

After dinner, Jill settled on the couch next to John and started removing
his clothes.
Wordlessly, she made it clear that they were going to make love.
Afterward, John said,
"That was very nice, but why didn't you just say something?"
Jill purred,
"At dinner you said you'd like a little piece and quiet around here
sometimes."

What' the difference between a woman and a boxer?
The boxer stands up to be knocked down.
The woman lies down to be knocked up.

Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry
worry"
A. "Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry..."

"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal
seated next to him at the bar.
"How do you know?" the friend asked.
"She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been, she
said that she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley. And I know
that's a lie because I spent the night with her sister, Shirley."

Have you heard about the Indian whore?
She did it for a thousand bucks.

I come from a mixed marriage.
My mother was a big, fat, ugly Baptist who married a skinny, little Jewish
guy from New York.
They divorced when I was 12, and she sat me down one day and told me,
"In 19 years of marriage to your father, I never had an orgasm. Tell me. Is
that too much information for a 12-year old?" So I looked at her and said,
"Of course not. Jews don't eat pig."
Mom and I were never very close after that.


Mother:
What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three years and
still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.
Daughter:
I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it's just that I have a
lot of trouble swallowing.

Wife in bed to praying husband:
"What are you praying for?"
"Guidance,"
"You pray for stiffness, I'll guide it myself."


How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.