XXX ADULT PUNS!

There once was a plumber from Leigh,
Who was plumbing his maid by the sea,
Said she, "Please stop plumbing,
I think someone's coming!"
Said he, "Yes, I know love, it's me."

Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children?
Because he comes only once a year and then its down a chimney.

A man and woman were having marital problems.
So, they went to see a marriage counselor.
The counselor, in an attempt to find some common ground from which to begin
his analysis said,
"Tell me about anything the two of you have in common."
The husband spoke up and said,
"Well, neither one of us sucks dicks."

The worst thing a bride can say on her wedding night is,
"I'm glad I didn't throw my vibrator away."

My husband, my kids, and I were on vacation in a quaint resort town.
There was a local there who gave carriage ride to sightseers.
He had his horse parked outside the ice cream parlour as I was exiting with
my husband and my four-year-old daughter. Now, I'm embarrassed to say this,
but this horse had an erection, and my daughter was fascinated.
As a bunch of tourists gathered around the horse, feeding and petting him,
she yelled out,
"Daddy! That horse has a penis---like you!"
I was mortified until I noticed that the women in the crowd seemed to be
staring at me in admiration.

What's another name for a sex-change operation?
Artificial infemination.


They now have an Italian airline that flies out of Genoa.
It's called Genitalia.