Incomplete Computer Glossary

BIT:
A word used to describe computers,
As in 'Our son's computer cost quite a bit.'

BOOT:
What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about
your computer skills.

BUG:
What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more
than 15 minutes.
Also: What computer magazine companies do to you after getting your name on
the mailing list.

CHIPS:
The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to
leave their computers for meals.

COPY:
What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at
the computer and not enough time studying.

CURSOR:
What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform as in "You
$#$%c% computer!"

DISK:
What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven
hours at a clip.

DUMP:
The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install you
computer.

ERROR:
What you made the first time you went into a computer showroom 'just to
look.'

EXPANSION UNIT:
The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and
all its peripherals.

FILE:
What your secretary can do to her nails six and a half hours a day, now that
the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.

FLOPPY:
The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise
and a steady diet of junk food. (See Chips).

HARDWARE:
Tools, such as lawn mowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't laid
a finger on since getting your computer.

IBM:
The kind of missile your family would like to drop on you so that you'll pay
attention to them again.

MENU:
What you'll never see again after buying your computer, since you'll be to
poor to eat in a restaurant.

MONITOR:
Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word actually
refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to see you hall pass at
school.

PROGRAMS:
Those things you used to look at on your television screen before you hooked
you computer up to it.

RAM:
What you do the side of you computer when it's not working properly.

RETURN:
What lot of people do to their computers after only a week and a half.

TERMINAL:
A place where you can find buses, trains, and really good deals on hot
computers.

WINDOW:
What you heave the computer out of when you accidentally erase a program
that took you three days to set up.