XX ADULT PUNS!

When they found out their wives were attending a sex-toy party,
The husbands refused to go and pick them up,
And
Instead left them to their own devices.


My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual,
Which makes it hard for him to come out of the closet.

At the height of Dorothy Parker's fame, a popular Broadway play featured a
character that was based loosely on her life.
When a friend asked her why she had not yet seen the play, Parker replied:
"I've been too fucking busy and vice versa."

Did you hear about the new Catholic edition of Playboy?
It's got the same centrefold as the regular edition,
But
You have to pull it out at just the right moment.

One of the women with whom I work, Donna, has a son in 3rd grade.
Part of his daily homework is to practice his spelling for his weekly tests.
So, together, Donna and her son go over the words for the test, both meaning
and spelling of the words.
A few weeks ago, her son brought home his test.
He scored 97%, missing only one word.
The word was "clock."
Part of the test was to use each spelling list word in a sentence.
His sentence?
"My dad gave my mom a clock for her birthday" - only it seems he'd
accidentally omitted the letter "L".
Donna said there was no comment on the test, just the biggest check mark she
had ever seen.


A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to
him.
So, he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one
on the other's behaviour.
When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in
general, then casually asked her about the specific behaviour of the
passenger he knew to be his mistress.
"She slept with nearly every man on the ship," his wife reported.
The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her
the same questions about his wife.
"She was a real lady," his mistress said.
"How so?" the encouraged man asked. "She came on board with her husband and
never left his side."