XXX ADULT PUNS!

A little boy goes to his father and asks,
"Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers,
"Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I
first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail
with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room,
and Googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard
drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of
us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button,
nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
"You've got male!"

I'm not much for pills,
But I'm taking Ginkgo-Viagra.
I want to remember what sex was like.

When asked by their host if she would like another drink, the attractive
blonde bowed her head slightly and said,
"No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink."
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply was:
"Because after one drink I can feel it; after two drinks, anyone can!"


A guy walks into a bar and orders three whiskey sours, drinks them down.
Bam! Bam! Bam!
Then, he orders three more.
The bartender's having a slow night and appreciates the business, but is
also concerned.
"Hey buddy, slow down. What seems to be the problem?"
The guy answers,
"I went on a week-long business trip, and had to leave my wife alone. I've
had my suspicions about our next-door neighbour, so I hung a weight from the
bottom of the bedspring just above a bowl of cream."
The bartender nods sympathetically and pours the guy another.
"So, you came home and found cream on the weight?"
The guy downs his fourth whiskey sour and says,
"It's worse than that. The cream had been churned into butter."

The biology teacher at the all-girl academy was handing back a test on male
anatomy on which the girls did poorly.
"I don't understand why you girls can't understand the male sex organ.
You've had it pounded into you all semester.

Dave sold strawberries off his truck out in the suburbs.
He knocked one the door of a house.
"Wanna buy some strawberries?"
"Come around the back," answered the pretty young blonde.
Dave walked to the rear, rang the bell, and the woman opened the door.
To Dave's shock, she stood there stark naked.
Not a stitch of clothes on.
Dave started to cry.
"What's the matter?" asked the blonde.
"Today, my wife ran away with my best friend," explained Dave, "I lost three
thousand dollars on the stock market, and now you're gonna screw me out of
my strawberries."

You know a bank robber is gay
When he ties up the safe and blows the guard.