XXX Bad language but funny

1) An Alcoholic, a Chain Smoker and a Homosexual go to the doctor. The
doctor says:
"If any of you indulge one more time you'll die."

As they walk home they pass a bar. The Alcoholic has a shot of whiskey,
falls off his stool stone cold dead. His friends are shocked.

As they walk along they come upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground still
burning.

The Homosexual looks at the Chain Smoker and says: "If you bend over to pick
that up, we're both dead!"
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2)  Teacher : Name three kings that brought happiness to people Student :
Smo-King , drin-King , fuc-king.
Teacher : WHAT ?????
Student : Jo-KING:)