XXX ADULT PUNS!

When Schliemann discovered the ruins of Troy, he found a stone carving which
told the story that Helen slept with Paris and Hector.
Schliemann called it Ménage à Troy.

I was chatting to this fit girl at work telling her about my fishing
weekend.
She said
"Ooh sounds fun, how about I come round your place after work? You can get
your rod out and show me your tackle" with a wink.
I'm starting to panic, she'll be round in 10 minutes and I can't find my
fishing rod anywhere!

A Cub Scout graduates to a Boy Scout after he has eaten his first Brownie.

A judge in Maine has ruled that women, but not men, can jog naked in public,
for you men who are making their mid-summer vacation plans.
Turns out the law in Maine says an offence of appearing nude is committed
only if the genitals are knowingly exposed in public.
The judge says that women's genitals are primarily internal and therefore
cannot be exposed.
How did this come up at the trial of two women arrested for running nude?
They won their case by asking just ONE question of the arresting police
officer.
He was asked whether he saw their genitals during the incident.
"Not that I recall," he replied.
Case closed.

Women went wild over the professional stud
Because
They liked the way his balls would jiggle low.

Back in the 1960's white activists often got their hair styled in an Afro --
a large bush-style hairdo -- to show support for civil rights.
One such fellow did so, and arrived home smiling and announced that he'd
also teased all his pubic hair into the same bushy style.
His wife, who had had it with her spouse's endless posturing, sneered,
"Great! Just great! Now, during foreplay, I'll have to look for a needle in
a haystack!"

Things you learn in Porn films:
If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man,
She will not scream with embarrassment,
But
Rather insist he have sex with her.

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken.
The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing
she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood.
She can't find it so she looks innocently at the guy and takes his finger
and sucks it.
The guy is so pleased he asks,
"Do you think I could have a urine test done?"

The doctor, taking a sex-behaviour history, asked:
"How many orgasms did you have last week?"
The answer:
"Counting masturbation and wet dreams?"

Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge,
So, he sent his wife Mary to Home Depot.
At Home Depot, Mary saw a beautiful bathroom faucet while she was waiting
for Walt, (the manager) to finish waiting on a customer..
When Walt was finished, Mary asked.
"How much for that faucet?"
Walt replied,
"That's pewter and it costs $300."
"My goodness that sure is a lot," Mary exclaimed.
Then, she proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy,
and Walt went to the back room to find it. From the back room Walt yelled,
"Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied,
"No, but I will for the faucet."

"Doctor I think my breasts are filled with water."
"Water! How's that possible?"
"Whenever someone presses them my pussy gets wet."