XX ADULT PUNS!

There was a young girl named Sapphire,
Who succumbed to her lover's desire,
She said: "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

Eunuch:
A man;
Who is fixed for life and has nothing more to lose,
Who hasn't got the balls to give some one else the shaft,
And
Who has no nuts and no dates.

Margaret decided she wanted to become a nurse.
Her first day at the hospital she was given several patients to bathe and
change their beds.
Her instructor arrived in the room just in time to hear the male patient
give a howl of pain.
The teacher took Margaret to one side and said.
"When we make the beds, we gently turn the patient to one side and push the
sheets up against his back. We then roll him over on the other side and pull
the sheets firm. We do NOT pick him up by his penis and shove the sheets
under him."

The women who went fishing with a group of men came back with a red snapper!

New studies show that women who drink tea are twice as likely to get
pregnant.
Related studies have revealed that women who drink Long Island Ice Tea are
twice as likely to wake up in the back seat of a Camaro with sticky hair.

Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking females.
One spots a real Cutie sitting on a pile of cow manure and dives down toward
her.
"Pardon me" he asks, turning on his best charm. "But is this stool taken?"

It was afternoon in the crowded cafeteria.
The elderly matron sitting at the counter was obviously upset at the
cigarette smoke of the young blond woman beside her.
Finally, the older woman could take it no longer.
She turned to the blond and bellowed with a loud voice,
"Young lady, I would rather commit adultery than smoke!"
"So would I," quipped the blond. "But, you know, there just isn't enough
time to get a good screw during a coffee break."

Is a penile colony where they send convicted rapists?

A hillbilly man and his new bride were on their honeymoon.
The husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready.
The wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says,
"Honey, I gotta ask you sumthin'. Be gentle with me 'cause I'm a virgin."
The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of
his lungs.
He heads straight to his father's house.
When he gets there, his father says,
"Son, what in tarnation are you doin' here, dang it? You're supposed to be
on your honeymoon with your new gal!"
The son says,
"Pa, she told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin, durn it!"
"Damn, son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she ain't good enough for
her own family, she sure as hell ain't good enough for ours!"

"I took a vacation to Florida."
"Tampa with your girlfriend?"
"I sure did-again and again!"
"Well, my girlfriend and I went to the Caribbean, and we made love three
times a day" "Jamaica?"
"No, she did it quite voluntarily."

Marsha completed four weeks of dental restoration with the dentist.
She confided to her best friend that she had fallen in love with her
dentist.
And she was going to propose to him.
Her friend said,
"Marsha you're 34 years old, you're beautiful, you have dozens of men that
adore you. Why this dentist?"
"Because he is the first man that ever said to me, 'Spit, don't swallow.'"

HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.