XX Naughty Jokes
Adult Jokes -read only if you want to !
(1) To make it straight, she pulls it..
To make it stand, she rubs it.
To make it stiff, she licks it.
To put it in, she uses her fingers and push.
It's hell of a job threading a needle!
(2) A guy donated blood to his girlfriend.
When they broke up, he wanted his blood back.
The girl threw a bloody kotex at him and said,
I'll pay you in monthly installment.'
(3) Girl in cinema turns sideways and whispers to her boyfriend.
'The man next to me is masturbating!'
Bf: 'Ignore him.'
Gf: 'I can't.'
Bf: 'Why not?'
Gf: 'He is using my hand!'
(4) The Bio teacher draws a huge dick on the board and asks 'Does
anybody know what this is?
Dirty Harry says 'Oh, it's a man;s dick and you know my dad's
got 2 of them?'
The teacher says '2 of them?'
Harry says 'ya! the little one he uses to pee, and the big one to
brush mum's teeth.'
(5) 4 miracles of a woman
Getting wet without taking a shower
Bleeding without getting hurt
Giving milk without eating grass
Making boneless meat hard.
(6) What is the smallest hotel in the world?
The answer is 'Vagina Inn'
It accomodates only 1 standing occupant with
his 2 baggages left outside.
(7) Unborn twins saw a weeny approaching.
1st: Papa coming, papa coming.
2nd: U fool, it's uncle John. Papa never comes with raincoat!
(8) A hubby said to his wife,
'I will take a photo of your breast and frame it..'
The wife said to husband,
'I will take a photo of your weeny and enlarge it.'
(9) At 15, a girl is a SURPRISE.
At 25, she is the RIGHT PRIZE.
At 35, a GRAND PRIZE.
At 45, a CONSOLATION PRIZE.
At 55, she is a DOOR PRIZE, and
at 65, a GIVEAWAY PRIZE.
(10) The vagina is the world's best rehabilitation/correction centre.
Even the most violent and aggressive dicks come out humbled,
head bowed and reduced in size.
(11) Lady was trying on a dress.
Husband: 'Your bum is as big as a BBQ pit!'
Later in bed, husband said, 'Want to do it?'
Wife: 'It's a waste lighting up a BBQ pit for a small sausage.'
