Murphys Law
Sent FS - April 06
1. Murphys Law states that "if anything can go wrong, it will"
Based on Murphys Law we can easily deduce that since Murphys Law can
also go wrong and hence it will. Which means that when Murphys Law
goes wrong we can deduce that, "If anything can go wrong, it wont".
Howzat?
Murphy's love laws
All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
This constant is always zero.
The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to
how much you love them.
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
Nice guys (girls) finish last.
The good ones die first.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is
the minute they find someone else.
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to
leave her with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it,
because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get
or how long it is going to last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same
ones she can't stand years later.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that
caused the trouble in the garden.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than
sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Love is a hole in the heart.
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into
our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.